If you've been reading my newsletter for a while, it's no secret that my Finnish heritage is something I hold dear (and maybe am more than a little bit proud of). Although I'm a fourth generation American, my 23andMe profile shows me as 100% Finnish, which I pretty much knew my whole life (growing up with the very Finnish maiden name Luukkonen). I learned recently that I also have some indigenous Sami (Nomadic northern Scandinavian Lapland) heritage in my bloodline, and that really resonates with me as I have always had a deep respect for Indigenous people. I look forward to learning more about my Indigenous heritage in coming years.
Most any language has words that don't translate directly into another language. There are words that are specific to that culture and encapsulate a thought or feeling. I found that to be true in my German studies and in my living abroad experiences. Certain words like Gemütlichkeit (a kind of pleasant, friendly coziness) or Schadenfreude (taking pleasure in another’s misfortune) don't have a direct one-word English translation.
In Finnish (of which I only know a few words and phrases), there is the revered word Sisu. Sisu is not only a strong word in the Finnish language but also is a strong identity for the Finnish and Finnish American people. It means grit, strength, determination, resilience and hardiness. To me it means indomitable spirit. It's an inner reserve you never knew you had. It’s not about perseverance toward a goal but about not giving up in the face of adversity.
I have an arm band from Judy, a dear family member who passed away two years ago. I decided to use it as a band on my water glass each day to remind me of her and her grit and to remind me that Sisu is a strength we all possess. And for practical purposes, to keep tabs on my water glass each day as I'm often absent-minded about where I last left it. (Or I’m wondering whose glass is whose.)
Among my fellow Finnish American friends, reminding someone she has Sisu inevitably has an encouraging and strengthening effect. You know you have it from within and don't have to search for it. It's a gift of your soul imbued with God's Spirit to help you through things you didn't choose or things you chose that are more difficult than you ever imagined.
I learned that the word Sisu has been in use for about 500 years but that since Finland's victory in the Winter War of 1939-1940 (when the Soviets invaded Finland), it became a rallying word for the Finnish national character — doing what needs to be done in honor and with indomitable spirit.1
I'm thinking about Sisu lately, as I’ve reminded my dear friend Melanie that she has Sisu in abundance as she recovers from a biking accident. A generation older than I am, Melanie amazes me with her yearly log of thousands of miles on her bike — mostly local rides in the beautiful northern Minnesota wild country where she lives (and where she and I became friends).
Recently Melanie gifted me the book Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by Brené Brown. Knowing me well, Melanie understands I've had to draw on courage and Sisu to walk the journey the Spirit has led me on. She encourages me in my writing, my intuitive work and also as a citizen of this earth, because she's walked her own brave wilderness path too. We've shared a lot with each other about how hard and how beautiful that journey has been. (Thank you, Melanie.)
I first heard about Brené Brown several years ago from Lisa, another insightful friend. I was sharing with her and her husband Rob about the challenging lessons God had been teaching me. I was in an intense phase of recognizing unhealthy relationships and situations in my life, stepping away from what the Spirit was revealing as damaging and speaking my truth with civility to those who would ask me. As I shared what I was learning from simply being honest with myself by the Spirit’s leading, Lisa recommended Brené Brown as she recognized themes that Brené writes about that I was also sharing. (Thank you, Lisa.)
I didn't read Brené’s books until recently, but I sought her out on podcasts and a TED talk and found myself Amen-ing and nodding a lot. Brown is a PhD social scientist who has studied topics like vulnerability, shame, empathy and courage for decades. Her research is based on thousands of interviews with people from all walks of life. She is also someone who has worked on herself a lot and has many personal experiences and insights to draw from. Plus she is Texan, which is its own form of Sisu (smile).
In Braving the Wilderness, I think she's really getting at Sisu — although the word is never mentioned. She starts out by defining belonging and belonging to yourself.
True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn't require you to change who you are, it requires you to be who you are.
Honoring your uniqueness, your story, your pain, your joy. And then from that place being willing to “step out by faith” (a phrase I grew up with) not knowing the outcome of a courageous decision or of speaking an uncomfortable truth but knowing it's the direction in which you are meant to go. It's the wilderness of uncertainty and loneliness in bravely (with Sisu) leaving behind what no longer grows you or nurtures you and stepping into the unknown that beckons. Sometimes it's a choice and other times you are thrown headlong into the wilderness because of profound loss or trauma.
When it's a time of choosing because the status quo is no longer good for us or those around us, that is where Sisu comes in. When it's a time of profound loss or trauma, that is also where Sisu comes in. It is that quiet reserve of strength and Spirit we didn't know we had until it is called upon and activated.
I know many of my readers personally, and I can tell each one of you that you have Sisu. (There! I've made you an honorary Finn. Smile.) So many of you have been given circumstances in background, family, work, church, health, etc. that you would not have chosen, but you've risen above it with courage and a healing mindset. Healers rising — that's why we're here together in this weekly offering.
But often the hardest part that we least expect is the lack of support from others, the resistance or the bald hostility we face as we have chosen to brave the wilderness and walk the healing path. When we choose to grow, there is often opposition from those around us. Years ago, the Spirit showed me that I had to “push through the discomfort” (those were the actual words I was given) of sharing my truth and not apologizing for the unique walk I was called to. I had to push through discomfort in conversations and in determination to follow God's plan for me and my family into the unknown, into the wilderness, into a phase of greater healing and awareness.
And there is sacrifice. I've had to sacrifice my comfort in every single area of the life I thought I had as a “nice Christian” to really follow God into the wilderness. But it's been rich. And you've seen that too in your own life. I know Brené has seen that, as have her interviewees.
It hurts, but it's worth it to live your authentic, unique life of freedom. And to become more connected to and understanding of others as a result. The first chapter of Braving the Wilderness is titled “Everywhere and Nowhere.” That title and the truths in the pages rang a bell several times over for me. Having felt on the outside for years while she also struggled with addiction, Brené couldn't even find a place of belonging in a local AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) chapter — being referred instead to a co-dependents support group who also told her she was not quite a fit. She felt like she belonged nowhere — constantly shut out. Reflecting on years of growth, by the end of the chapter she recognized that because of her internal reserves and honoring of herself, she belonged everywhere and also nowhere — because that belonging isn't decided by anybody but herself.
Years ago at one of my jobs, I was remarking to a young coworker that I didn't really belong to any department at work like everyone else. Because of the nature of my project-based work, I floated around the departments but was never in them as a regular. To that she replied in a reassuring way, “yet you belong everywhere here.”
She spoke to what I knew was true and Brené says so well in this book when she references Maya Angelou, her inspiration.
You are only free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place — no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.
If we trust that light we're given by the Divine and we honor our unique substance, we don't look to anyone or any organization to define belonging for us. We have it in ourselves — through our Sisu, our indomitable spirit, that will always rise to the challenge. We have that belonging in a loving God who wants us to be free.
Believing in our bravery,
Jen
Thank you for pick me up. It is Beautiful and Needed❤
Just beautiful. The healers truly are rising. Thank you for your words and your wisdom, Jen. I feel your sisu. I feel mine too.